Marriage Resource Center of Illinois Valley

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Relationship Myths
and why you should be glad they are not true

            I can't change my spouse...

       I just heard a counselor on the radio say that you can't change your spouse. Quite often I hear defeated partners lament that there is no hope because their spouse has "been this way for years and they will never change". I call this a myth because a relationship is a dance.  They say "It takes two to tango". If that is true then, I say "do a different dance".  People often feel stuck because their partner is not interested in changing.  The partner may not even see anything is wrong or just say "that is the way it is. You expect  too much." Even when they don't want to change, they will when you change the dance. What I see most often is that your spouse is just as frustrated and stuck as you, even when they won't admit it.