Marriage Resource Center of Illinois Valley

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Relationship Myths
and why you should be glad they are not true

               I can't get past the affair...

       This one is close to true. You really don't get past an affair. It is more like you get through an affair. The important thing to remember here is that what has been destructive in your marriage is not just the affair, but more importantly the issues that led to the affair in the first place. It is like discovering water dripping from your ceiling. The roof has been leaking for years but only now has it gotten bad enough to be noticed. The affair is a symptom of a bad marriage, not the cause of a bad marriage. I have seen many couples focus exclusively on getting past the affair without resolving the previous problems. What eventually happens is that if they stay together, another affair is sure to follow. It is like when you fix the water damage from a leaky roof but don't fix the roof. You are sure to see more water damage in the not too distant future.  


      We can not only help you work through an affair, but also help you find solutions to the issues that led to the affair. Though no one wants to build a better marriage through the tragedy of an affair, many couples that we have worked with say that their marriage is stronger and more fulfilling now then before the affair.